Wednesday, December 5, 2007

and behold, no child but trolls in her uterus

It all started with a dysmenorrhea that worsened.
I always had one during my period but after I got married (and the weight gain, perhaps?), it became the point that I have to miss work whenever I have it, plus the pain made me nauseous (I threw up constantly). Well, this prompted us to seek medical help. In the ultrasound, we learned that I have at least 5 myomas or fibroids (TROLLS!) and I also have a bi-lobed chocolate cyst (the little GOOLIES) in my left ovary.
I can't help but look it up, so I did.. From my research, I learned that fibroids are benign tumors (they rarely become cancerous) and they often exist in women of late 20s to 40s. For some, it does not cause pain (lucky them) so they just leave it as it is, because they shrink anyway during menopausal stage. But for those who suffer pain due to their growth, it has to really go so they actually remove it through surgery (myomectomy). There are times when they just try to stunt their growth through embolism but the fibroids stay in the uterus. They also say that fibroids actually cause infertility because implantation does not happen and cannot happen because they distort the uterus. Sometimes, fibroids even prevent fertilization because they block the passage of the sperms to the fallopian tube (it explains why we don't have a baby yet).
There's no question about it...the trolls and goolies will just have to go. Easier said than done..I know. I'm scared actually. Imagine undergoing a C-section when I have not had a kid yet. And did I mention that this will be my very first operation? Oh the horrors!!!
G called me up to tell me that our health card agreed to cover the hospital expenses except for the doctors' professional fees. Okay, fair enough. But my knees wobbled after I put down the phone. This is it...the moment of truth. Is it possible for me to have a kid after the operation? Will I survive the operation? Will I forget some of my Bio lessons after this? So many questions raising in my brain? Oh my poor poor nerves. I'm really scared. But I have to be brave, for my sake and everyone else's. So all I can say is "Bring it on, but softly if you please".

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