The 7 things that cross my mind a lot are:
1. a life with children
- We've been married 10 years and after 3 surgeries, we still had no luck conceiving. We are very much open for adoption but right now, everything except our marriage are a bit unstable and it would be unfair to introduce an innocent to this. I want our kids to have wonderful childhoods, live in a neighborhood where they can grow up with their best friend and have roots.
2. how beautiful it would've been if my Dad was still alive
- I lost my Dad to a massive heart attack on Feb.11, 2009. I was thousands of miles away from him when it happened and the last time that I saw him, he was playfully sticking out his tongue at me while I was skyping with my older sister - he was on the background. I miss him a lot. I wish he could've visited with my Mom and he would have been mighty proud that our first car was a Rav4 because he liked that car too.
3. how to make myself better
- because the reality is, there is always room for improvement. I am not self-loathing by doing this, on the contrary - trying to improve oneself I believe is an expression of self-love. Example: I want to lose weight, not because I hate what I look like in the mirror but because, when I lose weight - it's easier for me to move and play with my students,nieces and nephews.
4. why the violence when there's so many things to use our energy on?
- because if you are angry, you can just channel them up towards something beneficial for everyone like weeding, digging and starting a garden or building a house. I also think that violence is also a product of pent-up anger so before that frustration reach it's limit, why not vent it out through writing, counselling, exercise etc.? Seek Help to Get Help!
5. how can I be more productive?
- I am a procastinator and it is a hard habit to break. I am also lazy so that makes it a double-whammy. But I am striving to be more productive by diligently making sure that I am doing something worth doing through planning my day ahead. It is a struggle but this is one fight that I would like to emerge victorious.
6. how I can I show the hubby that I love him so much?
- just because I want him to know just how much.
7. Am I fulfilling my life mission?
- because it would a shame to meet the Creator and fail to report anything to Him...think Parable of the Talents.